I Can't
by Rei-the-Rat
Summary: Sanji was very good at adapting to new situations. But he could never handle this...


_~ theme request posted separately due to length and I'm actually really proud of how this turned out. Still failed at the ending though..._

 _Feel free to drop a review~_

 _for Monkey D. Anea_

* * *

Sanji's brain crashed but his heart soared. She was gorgeous. A tall elegant woman, fierce in her stance but with a flair of grace. He had never seen such a beauty, and he was ready to throw everything away, to confess his eternal undying love for her.

Until his brain pulled itself back together and proceeded to stomp on his heart. Green hair, scar over one eye, three golden earrings, and a bad attitude. Check. That was Zoro… With a woman's figure.

"What the hell?!" He snapped, furious at the situation but mostly at himself.

Luffy laughed in delight. "Shishishi, sorry Zoro, that was probably meant to hit me."

Usopp leaned toward Sanji. "We got a package from a friend of Luffy's. There was some kind of bomb inside. We all ducked but Zoro was asleep, so he got hit with it."

Sanji clicked his tongue in annoyance. "What kind of friend sends a bomb through the mail?" He turned to go deliver his ladies their drinks.

"It was from Iva-chan." Robin informed him as he laid down the two glasses.

His visible eye twitched. Iva-chan? As in Emporio Ivankov? He refused to let his brain venture further. Two years of hell, and it turned out that crazy Okama could've turned him into a woman at any time… He needed a smoke.

Zoro huffed. "Well, it better not be permanent. Hey! Dumb cook, bring me some booze. I'm not doing this sober."

Sanji paused. There was an angel singing to him. Her sharp words pierced his heart with every syllable. His first instinct was to twirl to her side and ask what would a fair and dazzling lady such as herself like, a flute of champagne, the strong rich earthy flavor of his best red wine, perhaps something stronger, a snifter of brandy? Then his brain kicked in before his legs could move. This. Is. Zoro. Which meant sake. And under normal circumstances Sanji would've told him no because he had already gone through two bottles that day. But "he" was a "she" and Sanji found himself silently making his way to the kitchen to fetch the alcohol.

"Well, I'd be stressed out too if I was suddenly a woman. Can't blame him for wanting a drink." He reasoned. He's not quite sure how he would take suddenly being female. Being swapped into Nami's body was different. His was still male and he still identified himself as male; his body was male. He came back and handed over the bottle.

"Thanks." Zoro took it and immediately began to drink.

Sanji found his eyes lingering on Zoro's open robe, the way the fabric pulled, only partially covering her breasts as she tilted her head back and drank from the bottle. Luffy elbowed him harshly, snapping him away from the alluring sight. He coughed his thanks and headed back inside.

Later in the day after lunch had been eaten, Sanji was having a smoke outside against the railing. He exhaled deeply and tried to calm his mind. Heavy booted footsteps walked by toward the galley. "Stay out of the alcohol, moss head!" He called without turning.

"Fuck off."

Damn, how was she making that sound so elegant? He scowled and turned swiftly. "It has to last until the next port." He received no response and Zoro was still headed for the door. Swearing, he stubbed out his cigarette and met the swordsman in front of the galley door. "Wait until dinner." He bit out.

Zoro's hand rested on Kitetsu's hilt as she narrowed her eye at the blonde. "There's plenty in there." She made to push by the cook once more. The polished toe of Sanji's black shoe stopped half an inch away from her nose. Instantaneous reflex had the cursed sword out its sheathe and pointed at Sanji's throat. He jumped back just enough to swing his other leg around. Zoro ducked under it and rushed him.

The cook's back hit the door harshly. He shook his head as he braced himself against the solid wood behind him. There was a stillness around him, and he looked up at Zoro confused. He was expecting a fist to the face, hole in his gut, not Zoro standing back and just looking at him. He watched the bright gleam in her eye, the one that was always present during a fight, die as her shoulders fell into a relaxed position and the deadly blade was placed back in its sheathe. She breathed deeply and continued to just look at him. Sanji straightened a little, still wary.

"I really hate you sometimes."

"Wha-" The breath was knocked from his lungs as Zoro punched him in the stomach. He fell to his knees coughing violently.

Luffy felt the exchange from his seat on Sunny's figure head. He hopped up and met Zoro by the ladder to the crow's nest. "Hey, you ok?"

"If I really was a girl, I'd be crying." Zoro placed a hand on the ladder rung. Luffy gave her a worried look along with the frown due to the slightly sexist comment. "It's fine. I'm going to go take a nap." She clapped him on the shoulder before making her way up to her claimed room.

Zoro didn't show up for dinner. Which wasn't too unusual, sometimes he would be late due to a nap or training. He'd come in and badger Sanji for food afterwards. But when Luffy entered the galley, his eyes swept across his gathered nakama before resting at Zoro's seat then finally moving to watch Sanji. The cook glanced up at him, noticing the small sign of worry. They both knew Zoro was awake. She just wasn't coming to dinner. Luffy went around the table grabbing Zoro's plate as he made his way to Sanji. He was passed him a bottle as he went by.

"Is something wrong with Zoro?" Chopper asked worriedly.

"He's a woman…" Franky offered earning his swat from Robin.

"The Captain is just going to take him his meal." Brook reassured Chopper.

"Don't see why the lazy jerk can't-" Usopp cut himself off at the harsh glare Nami gave him across the table.

Sanji remained uncharacteristically silent throughout the exchange. Until later in the night when he stumbled his way up to the crow's nest, rum in hand, and plopped himself down on Zoro's bed. "You should finish this before I give myself alcohol poisoning." He handed the bottle over his shoulder to her. There was a slight slur to his words, buzzed but not quite drunk.

Zoro took it as she sat up. "Thanks." She took a large gulp of the aged beverage. Sanji felt her lean on him a little more heavily than necessary, an acceptance of his poor excuse for an apology. Her lips pressed sweetly against his neck, a hum brushing on his skin.

"Don't." She pulled away shocked. "I'm sorry. I just… can't…" Sanji sighed as he looked down at his feet.

Zoro took another heavy drink. Her hand took hold of his neatly folded collar and pulled him back on to the bed. Sanji shuffled under her guidance until his back rested against the wall. The rum bottle was placed, empty, on the floor along with a growing collection of other empty alcohol bottles. She made mental note to pick those up soon.

The drunken pink on Sanji's cheeks was replaced by a deep red as Zoro situated herself in his lap. He traced her curves with an unwavering look and found his trembling hands resting on her waist. "I'm sorry," He whispered looking up into a stormy eye.

"I don't understand what's wrong." Zoro admitted. "But I guess it doesn't matter. I won't be like this for much longer. Luffy found a note Ivankov sent with his prank. I should be changing back anytime now." Sanji let out a sigh of relief. "You seem happier to hear that than me." She smirked.

"I am, you have no idea." Sanji laughed. "I…" He stopped himself from apologizing again. "You deserve an explanation. Will you listen?" Zoro nodded. "Women are beautiful. In everything they do, they are perfect. I was raised on these rules." He paused to collect his thoughts. "A man's purpose in life is to protect the women around him. Because no matter where they're from or who they are, from every princess to hardened warrior, they are delicate beings inside. A man forgives her lies and flaws; he guards her virtue with his very being." His hands tightened around Zoro. "Zeff taught me this, and in the North Blue, this was a common teaching from man to boy." He sighed. "I love women, but I fear hurting them. That's why I can never love a women the way another man could… should. With you, I don't have to worry about hurting you. If I ever do, you'll brush it off or strike back. But, like this," Skilled hands ran up her sides to rest just under the generous swell of her breast. "I know you're a man, you're still Zoro. But I can't help but see the woman that is there. I'm really afraid of this…" He leaned back to look up at her. "You're perfect, in every way, the man I love in the form I was taught to worship…"

Zoro sighed. She had listened carefully the whole time. It was obvious he was sincere with these thoughts and truly worried. "It's ok." She took his hands in her own and held them up. "Like, I said, it won't be much longer 'til I change back." A wicked grin graced her lips. "Do you want to touch, before they're gone?" She brought his hands closer to her chest.

The blush that had died down during his explanation intensified three times. Sanji shook his head. "I… I really shouldn't!"

Zoro chuckled lowly and dropped his hands. "Suit yourself." She smiled at Sanji's sigh. "It'll-" She lurched forward suddenly shuddering violently.

Sanji caught her and held her trembling body carefully. "Zoro! Hey!" Zoro leaned on him heavily, breath coming harshly. He watched in wonder as all her soft skin turned back to hardened muscle, her curves become less defined; an all-around firmness settle in her body as she rested her head on Sanji's shoulder. "Zoro…"

A deep baritone laugh reached his ears. "Well, here's hoping that never happens again." Zoro straightened in Sanji's arms. He brushed some of the blonde hair out of his face as he leaned down closer.

Sanji met his kiss as he pushed his lover down on the bed. Zoro laughed at him but he didn't care. He left kisses across his cheek and down his neck, sucking gently at the tan skin before nipping the sensitive spot under his ear. Zoro laid back, giving Sanji room to touch him how ever he wanted. He helped slip his top off while Sanji dragged his tongue down the scar on his chest. The blonde kissed his way back up, hands working to undo the button on Zoro's pants and sneak in to feel him.

"Thank goodness, you're a man again." Sanji whispered.

Zoro moaned as Sanji squeezed him gently through the fabric of his boxers. He purred with delight at the reaction. With his mounting anxiety over the prospect of Zoro being a woman forever, it had felt like a lifetime since he last felt up his swordsman. He placed several kisses across Zoro's strong collar, nipping at his neck and sucking gently over tan skin. Zoro pulled the blonde closer. "Hey,"

"Hm?" Sanji looked up at him before slanting his mouth over Zoro's.

Zoro pulled away slightly. "You better?"

"Yeah." Sanji grinned. He sat up a little. "You?"

At this Zoro laughed. "Definitely." He sighed and brought Sanji back down for a quick peck to his cheek. "You're not the only one who couldn't deal with me being a woman."


End file.
